Calvin

"Calvin that used to hang out on the corner?!?!" - Old lady from the McDonald's commercial

Do you remember the McDonald's ads in the early 90s featuring Calvin? You know the one where all the black folks in the neighborhood are pleased as punch that Calvin from around the corner is working at McDonald's. The story starts with him getting the job to by the end of the commercial, Calvin pretty much owns the joint. Classic shit right?

Today, I felt like I was in Bizarro world. And it starred a Bizarro Calvin from around the corner. And it involved a normal McDonald's. But the experience was anything but normal. It was...bizarre. And the only reason I am invoking Calvin's name is because the cashier was young and black. But unlike Calvin, I definitely didn't see him owning no McDonald's anytime soon....

Anyway, the Honest Family took a trip to McDonald's after the kids were scooped from class. We were getting my kids Happy Meals for being extra good at school (and the fact that we let time slip away from us and forgot to cook dinner LOL). We pull up through drive through like normal, order our food, and pull around to pay the cashier at the first window. I should note now the Honest Woman was driving and I was riding shotgun.

So we pull up and we see a young black dude working the register. Again normal right? The first thing that comes out of his mouth is "Aw yea, we get some black folks passing through here for a change." Not hey how you doing or your order comes to this but that line. What the fuck?? So unlike the Calvin who was courteous, we get Bizarro Calvin who's just saying the first thing that comes to mind. But oh no wait, I got more :-).

So after being starstruck that we are black, he takes the money and still going on and on about being happy to see black folk. You think that would be the end of it right? Nope, dude observes the Honest Wife is driving and then comments to me that "Hey man, you oughta be driving the car and letting your lady ride." Again, what the fuck? I'm getting advice on how to treat my woman?? From a McDonald's cashier? So not only does he take orders, he gives relationship advice. Ladies and gentleman, meet Bizarro Calvin! But not Calvin from around the corner, this Calvin comes from the land of Stupid. And yes there is something wrong with that ;-)

Today's Lesson

Maybe this dude watched a lot of "Coming to America" and thinks he's the new age Akeem by giving advice. But um, Calvin, stick to your day job. Take the orders, pick up the trash from time to time, and maybe one day you'll be on fry duty. And that's when the medium bucks will start rollin' in.....

Ice Cube

"Yo we got a problem?" - Dough Boy (Ice Cube) from Boyz in the Hood

Do you remember that scene from Boyz in the Hood when Ricky and Tre' are kickin' it on Crenshaw one night? You remember they were minding their own business, walking over to their friends, someone bumps into Ricky, and a riot almost started? That's what I felt like when I read this recent article on CNN.com. The summary is about people flying with babies and the mounting issues some of their fellow passengers have from flying with these people. The Ricky in this case is me, flying with my kids on the plane and the someone who bumps me is the passenger who doesn't have kids and is already annoyed at my presence because I have young toddlers and babies on the plane...

"Babies should be banned from planes, movie theatres, restaurants, and any other public place for that matter. The rest of the world doesn't think your kid is as cute as you do."

That was a quote from the article. Should be banned they say. Not as cute as you think they added. And what does Ricky say to his fellow hater. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Yep it's go time pimps and playas, mark ass tricks, trick ass marks, let the Playa Hata Year of the Speech 2010 commence. Such buffoonery and silly commentary must be addressed the correct way and that my readers is the Honest Man way.

For those that strongly oppose bringing babies on planes, what do you suggest we as parents do? The immediate response is don't fly. More thought out responses would probably suggest catch another flight, take another mode of transportation like the train, wait until they get older, or even better have the person(s) come see you. I guess it never occurs to the ones who have the problem that good parents normally think this out and exhaust the possibilities for traveling. Truss me, I hate going through security with breast milk, a baby stroller, a baby seat, and all other related items that add extra time and weight to the trip. But if your family or destination is say 1000 miles or more, I'm not thinking about how it affects your trip. I'm thinking about what's the most effective and fastest way to get to that spot. And sorry jackass, sometimes that means we're flying. Fuck yo feelings, I'm not thinking nor worried about if you can get sleep on that 2 hr flight. I'm thinking about how Ricky is going to survive myself....

Some recommendations during the flight are standing up and walking around with the infant to 1) quiet the child and 2) show the other passengers that you are trying and hopefully gain sympathy from them. Again you already know my response to that. Bullshit. You got a problem would be my first reaction to ANYONE who steps to me negatively about my baby crying. Like I wanna have my kid crying in my ear the entire flight. How stupid does that sound? Babies are unpredictable like the weather. Do I want them to keep quiet during the flight? Absolutely! Does it always happen? No. The recommendation I have is what Richard Pryor told Eddie Murphy to tell Bill Cosby " Tell Bill I said to shut the fuck up, have a coke, and smile." Walk around my ass. I just told you how tiring it is to get all that stuff through security. Now I'm going to walk around so you can get some rest. Riiiiight.

I always say you never know until you walk a mile in someone's else shoe. Prior to children, I probably was like those people that had issues with babies on planes, although my irritation was mild compared to what I read in the article. Once I had a kid and went through the experience of flying, my perception changed 180 degrees. I remember flying post-child by myself one night. My flight from California to home was delayed by 3 hrs. The flight was already 4 hrs by itself. We didn't board until like 10 or 11 at night. Turns out I drew a seat next to a lady with a 8 month old. I am exhausted and in dire need of sleep. But it was a 4 hr flight. The baby was good for at least 2 hrs of the flight until she started screaming. Considering I had a kid, how mad could I be? It's late at night, she's in the air, she's probably irritated, her mother is irritated and tired, and me acting bitchy wasn't going to help the situation. I put myself in the mother's shoes and tried to play with the kid to calm her down. Not turn up my nose and act like an ass because I can't get my sleep.

Today's Lesson

Please don't be that person that has an issue with people flying with kids. Not until you have to do it yourself. Because karma can be a bitch and the funky ass attitude you had with the parents will be the same one someone has with you when you have a kid. And trust me, God don't like ugly. So sit yo silly ass down and read your airline magazine before I have to put you in check. Kapeesh!

Know Your (Music) History - Who Do You Love

I don't know what's come over the Honest Man lately. I feel like KRS-One, wanting to educate the masses. I decided I will add another recurring piece, entitled "Know Your "Music" History. It's probably b/c I'm tired of folks either thinking rap started with Biggie and 'Pac or think a lot of the new music joints are using original music. Wrong McBoo!

I was watching TV the other day and they broke out Todd Smith's classic "Loungin". They followed it up with the original song from Bernard Wright. The Honest Man has to admit, I totally forgot about Mr. Wright's joint. So I'm part of the problem too haha. Anyways, without further adieu, the FIRST music history lesson ala Honest Man Style

LL Cool J f Total - Loungin' (Remix)




Bernard Wright - Who Do You Love