Kentucky Fried Negro

Did you ever hear the song "Fried Chicken" by Nas? Great ode to the tasty dish that my peeps love and cannot get enough of. I can't remember the first time I ever had it but I do know that not a year goes by and I don't have at least one serving of fried chicken (shit probably not even a month goes by). Well I thought I was a chicken connoisseur but learned I was a rookie compared to a roommate of mine in college.

Ace Jackson. Seattle born and raised. Writer. Streetball Player. One half of one of greatest video rental businesses the East side of the Mississippi in GQ Rentals. And also my roommate. Ace is man 50 grand until the end. And this Negro LOVED chicken. I mean like eat that shit twice a week a love. Like even though we're paying for the on campus meal plan, he's saying fuck it, I want some chicken, I'm getting some chicken right now love. And we had most of the known spots near campus. Church's. Popeye's. Mrs Weiners. And his favorite, KFC (my favorite, Bojangles didn't arrive in Atlanta until after I had moved :-( ).

Ace was normally an equal opportunity cat when it came to our roomie situation. Wanna play on his Playstation? Cool, I got the sticks. Wanna check out some of my CDs? Cool, I'm poppin' in the latest and greatest. Wanna have some of the goodie bag stuff my moms sent? Cool, I'm eating Ace's mom's cookies. BUT when it came to that chicken boy, it was like trying to ask Tyrone Biggums for a hit of crack. Shit just wasn't happening....

Let me put this in perspective so you understand Ace's love for chicken. Like I said before, he grew up in Seattle. If you ever gone to Seattle you can somewhat appreciate his love for the poultry in grease. I interned in Seattle one summer and I remember asking someone where's a KFC or Popeye's around here. Cat was like oh we got like 2 Popeye's in the city. TWO. In a city that large?!?! Whoa nellie, I was like no way in hell I'm ever living here LOL. But think about this, if you have a desire for something but rarely ever get it, your desire starts to increase rapidly. And when that rarity becomes a constant, then you have an addiction ;-). Ace's addiction was that chicken

One day, I remember Ace basically walking in the room, throwing his arms, and saying the cafe was basically shit for dinner. So he did his normal routine and went up the street to get the Colonel's chicken. He comes back in the room and dude has a 12 piece bucket. I'm like what the hell, you stashin' for a rainy day :-). I agreed dinner was shit and was still slightly hungry from dinner. So I asked my roomie if I could have a wing or leg, thinking he respond with cool I got you. Nope he said he's eating the entire 12 piece. I'm going so you eating an entire 12 piece bucket in one day. Riiiight.....

I keep telling you readers Karma is a muthafucka. The first night Ace probably ate 3 pieces tops of that 12 piece, put the rest in the room fridge. The second night he didn't even bother to try the cafe, he was basically dreaming about eating that chicken. I got a lil haterade in my heart like fuck you non sharing muthafucka LOL. I remember that he took his chicken out, and left the room to put the chicken in the dorm microwave. He came back to the room like 1 min or less later to do something, then went right back to get his precious chicken. Musta been 30 seconds later when he bust back in the room screaming "someone STOLE my chicken!" 30 seconds and the KFC thief had struck the dorm room. And I'm smilin' on the inside like a muthafucka because that was a that'll teach you not to share trick!

Today's Lesson

Maybe ya'll didn't know but you shouldn't mess with one of God's children LOL. When you mess with me, you mess with Him. And He does things like take away your addiction. Speak on it Honest Man!!!