Sunday, November 30, 2008

Happy Hour

I enjoy the occasional white russian and/or rum punch and/or Hurricane and/or Heinenken...okay you get the point, Waldini likes to drink. And I enjoy these drinks in a social setting like Happy Hour. These two are great meeting points for the minds to get together and shoot the shit. Unfortunately sometimes people and places have a way of screwing that up.

Point #1 - Co-workers

If I had a nickel for every time I went to happy hour with co-workers and actual work was the topic of discussion, I’d be a millionaire. I do not know if it’s lack of personality, a decision to not discuss non-work items, or that simply you live for work but it has to stop. I did not work 50 plus hours in a week to discuss shop for another 2 plus hours. Please talk about something more interesting like the good looking woman in accounting or else SHUT THE HELL UP. If we are off the clock, why would you want to bring up work in a social setting? Exactly my point, you are talking about something you hate which makes no sense. You’re turning my hour into an unhappy hour with all this bullshit about how rough the week was or how the boss is being a dick, etc.

Point #2 - Location

Equally as bad as talking about work is the choices where my co-workers select for happy hours. Hey stupid, if you live in a big city, it’s guaranteed there are places in town that have drink specials, appetizers specials, or both. Stop picking the spots that charge FULL price for drinks during happy hours and only offer bar peanuts as snacks. I’m consider myself a Happy Hour connoisseur and I’ve been places where they offer you $2 you call it (the good liquor) and have buffet lines that serve steak and chicken. Geez, I feel like I have to educate the clueless on the best spots for truly unwinding after a hard week. Again, if I’m spending over $6 a drink during Happy Hour, which means it’s truly an unhappy hour for me. Can I go home now?

Today's Lesson

The next time your co-workers ask you about Happy Hour, lie and say you are headed to Bible study or something along those lines. One, it ensures they won't ask you out again b/c they feel you are more like Ned Flanders and less like Homer Simpson. Two, you then can set up happy hour at a spot YOU like and invite people YOU like. You know ones that talk about more important shit like why does Jeff''s breath stank all the time....

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Turkey Day

And just to show you I do have a heart, Happy Turkey Day to you and yours! Just make sure you do some walking on Friday ;-)

Racism - Volume 1

This is a subject that will be covered repeatedly on this blog but for the sake of not boring you, I'm only covering 1 point in today's edition

Point #1 - Denial

“Take your slice of pizza and go the fuck back to Africa” – Do the Right Thing

Does racism still exist? Raise your hand if you think it does not. For those that kept their hand down, you get a cookie. Why the sarcasm you ask? Because you are a moron if you think racism no longer exists in America. Yeah, I know what you are going to say:

“Waldini, schools are no longer separated so all our kids will get the same education”
“You guys got affirmative action to make sure you get into college and get a good job”

“I don’t understand why you are so angry; I mean you make all this money from sports and entertainment”

Let me ask you, specifically white America, a question. Would you have a problem if your daughter or son decided to marry someone from a different race? And if you had a problem, then what would be your reason? Would you subliminally think about yourself first and be worried about what your family, friends, and neighbors would say? Or would you become a victim of stereotypes and associate what you see on TV or hear on the radio with your child’s love interest? If you are having deep thoughts as you read my words, then my friend, you are a racist.

Oh you’re not a racist you say? You have friends with different cultural backgrounds that you talk with all the time you say? Ok, wiseguy, I will take it a step further. When you go out to lunch, who do you usually go out with? And how would you describe the skin tone of your lunch counterparts? When you go out to parties or happy hours, what is the majority race that is present? Have you ever gone to a party and you were the only race represented? How did that make you feel? Again, if you are having deep thoughts as you read this, then my friend, you are a racist.

Still laughing of my words huh? You say I am not accurately describing you and that I need to take my foolishness elsewhere? Ok, I have another round of questions for you. When you describe a person, do you usually include the race in front of the noun? For example, I ask you how would describe the guy and you reply “He’s this tall, big black guy, blah, blah, blah.” Any reason you simply can’t say “He’s a tall, big guy.” And course my ultimate question, have you ever used a derogatory term specifically meant for a race at any time in your life? Whoops, I think I just hit the jackpot.

Racism has and continues to exist today in society. It’s nowhere near as bad as the early to mid 20th century, but people act like it doesn’t exist anymore and equal rights reign supreme. Yea, equal rights exist for those of the same complexion and tax bracket. But last time I checked, I don’t remember them telling stories of getting pulled over for a busted “tail light.” Riiiight.

And in case you wondering, I used to be racist, simply because I did find myself thinking hard about those questions and did some of those same things above. But at least I admitted my faults and constantly work on overcoming my flaws. Some of you can’t even get out of the denial phase.

Today's Lesson

Stop judging folks by the color of their skin and more on what's on the inside. Sounds cliche and simple but really it's not that difficult. You'll be amazed at how much you have in common with someone.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


Point #1 - Keeping It Real

I do not know where it started but I do know that it needs to end. And I'm talking about folks bragging to each other to see who's life was the hardest than the other. Instead of celebrating where we at now, we want to talk about eating fried bologna sandwiches and eating one meal a day. I remember one time when I was young, some kids cracked on me because I did not know about only having two pairs of pants. They said I was not keeping it real. Guess they did not know that my both my parents came from low middle or low income situations, worked they asses off to attain what they want, and decided they wanted their children to have what they did not growing up.

Keeping it real to me means not feeling ashamed for having the finer things in life, especially when you work hard for it. I will never apologize for my speech, appearance, lifestyle, upbringing, etc. So while you out there keeping it real and living "grimy", I'll be keeping real warm inside my multi-level home in the suburbs watching ESPN, and surfing the net. That's keeping it real patna.

Point #2 - Leadership

"There are too many captains and not enough sailors" - Me, back in high school

Look, everyone cannot be a leader. But I grow tired of folks claiming to be one because they sound intelligent when they talk. That's not being a leader. What, you think you my master? These same folks are talking about what certain groups need to do as a people and rise but are not doing a damn thing about it. You need to sit yo' silly ass down and get in line like the rest of the folks out there. If you want to change the world, stop talking about it and just do it. Yea, Martin had a dream but at least he woke up to do something. He didn't continue to take a nap if you catch my drift. Otherwise if you do not feel like being a leader but want to make a difference, stop rocking suits and khakis, start wearing dashikis and cargo pants. Just don't come by house with that old Belly "Let's go back to Africa" nonsense.

Also on a personal note, stop congratulating me on becoming a team lead. That is like congratulating me at McDowell's because I went from lettuce to fries. Congratulate me when I become a high level manager, executive or CEO of a firm. Otherwise, just say good luck and let me be on my merry way. It's a harsh reality that I know you may have problems coping with but deal with it!

Today's Lesson

What have we learned in today's lesson kids? Keeping it real and being a leader are difficult in America. But if you stay true to yourself and practice the words that you preach, then everything will work itself out for the better. Otherwise stop fronting like you a gangsta when you know you went to private school and were raised by BOTH parents in the suburbs.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Today's topic focuses on education and the misconception about the educational gap, today's kiddies, and my own personal gratification from a good education.

Point #1 - Misunderstanding

There is a misunderstanding between wealthy Americans and poor Americans right now. Wealthy Americans believe poor Americans are dumb, stupid, and will never amount to anything. Yet wealthy Americans seem to be the dumb ones in their assessment. It did not occur to them that they benefited from a top notch educational system that made sure they were able to have a successful life. How do I know this? Because I went to private school jabroni, that's how! We were given access to computers, books written in the decade I attended high school, a real support system, etc. That set me up to be a success in life.

A friend of mine gave the perfect analogy for the educational gap that exists today. It's like you have two players on a football field that are about to race each other from one end zone to the other. However, one of the players is starting from 50 yd line, and the other player is starting from the opposite end zone. You think this is a fair race? Of course it isn't. So why would you expect someone who does not have the same access as another person to achieve the same amount of success?

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule but those exceptions are not the majority. So spare me the bullshit about "These kids are stupid or cannot learn". They can't learn because they are using history books from 1971 in the new millennium. Trust me, if the playing field is equal you will see more comparable results. But people don't want to see nor hear that truth.

Point #2 - Adolescence

You remember when you were went through elementary school, junior high school, and high school? Do you remember at some point being picked on, cracked on, or having a practical joke played on you? And do you remember your reaction? Something has changed dramatically since I graduated from high school (early 90s) because the kids today react a helluva lot different then I did whenever the situations above happened to me. And when I mean different, I'm talking about all the school shootings that have occurred in America and how people cannot believe these situations happened in "their town." The most infamous school shooting in US history took place at Columbine High School. A couple of kids donned some long trench coats, called themselves the Trench Coat Clique or Mafia, then went on a rampage. According to local folks, these kids had been the subject of verbal abuse by the peers, getting called names like "Dork" and "geek." I had a hard time trying to understand how verbal abuse would trigger someone to seek revenge by taking someone else's life. And at the end of the carnage, the assailants took their own life.

I bring up this story because I was early in my corporate career and got into a debate with a co-worker of mine. He said he felt sorry for the "mafia" because their parents did not love them enough and they felt as if no one cared about them. Of course, he conveniently left out that these kids were sixteen years old driving their parents luxury cars (BMW) to school, had their own room stocked with computer, personal phone, and TV. Yep, their parents didn't love them alright. Using this logic, then I should have went ape shit in high school because I had to PAY for my own car, which was a piece of crap 1987 Ford Escort. I had no personal phone, and a family computer that was shared by everyone in the house. Does that mean my parents did not love me? Hell no, it just meant that's the way it was for me when I was growing up. Do not give me that woe is me crap on those kids. Those kids were soft plain and simple.

Everyone gets picked on at some point in life. That's just the way it is. Resorting to taking someone's life is a chicken shit way of dealing with your problems. And why must they kill everyone instead of just the person or people they are angry with? Those cowards spared no one. I guess the kids living in single room apartments with a gazillion people, only 2 pairs of clothing, and truly no family support should just take their city hostage. The bottom line is this. Kids today need to get tougher emotionally and mentally. Stop watching TV and believing your problems can be answered by hurting people like your in a video game. Be mature and learn how to adjust to your environment.

Point #3 - Gratification

Were you considered a late bloomer while you were school? I sure was. Granted I did not experience the pleasure of having my lunch money taken from me or the shit kicked out of me on a frequent basis, I did struggle to get the "honey" in high school. It probably did not help that I was 5'4, 110 pounds (soaking wet), wore bi-focals & braces until junior year, and rocked the skin tight blue jeans courtesy of moms. But on the flip side, I was a honor roll student, a fairly decent athlete (lettered in soccer), bought my first car with my own money, and was getting scholarships to attend college. But that did not mattered to the honies as either I did not fit their pic of the ideal man. Don't get me wrong, I had a few girls who understood but the so called good ones wanted nothing to do with me. Crazy thing, their mamas were telling them to keep an eye on me because they said 'He's going to do great things'. That's probably the best advice Mama could have given them.

Now in college, my luck was a little better. In fact, I had a girlfriend freshmen year. But I do remember stepping to a few girls and they fronted on me, choosing to kick it with the "bad boys" and "thugs." Funny how times flies when you are about to graduate and you got a good job awaiting you? Those same chicks, along with new ones who learned about my status, were basically beating down my door senior year trying to be on my time. Like Mike Jones said "Back then, didn't want, now I'm hot, all up on me." Please, you could never be Mrs. Waldo because Mrs. Waldo would have been down with me when I was NOTHING!

Long story short, patience is a virtue and before you write off someone, assesses their potential first. You never know who you are dealing with and how that person will look or turn out down the road. I do know I got gratification from being able to reject those same chickenheads that turned their noses up at me back in the day. Poof, be gone tric!

Today's Lesson

Say your prayers, take your vitamins...and um yea right. Keep yo mind on them books and off dem gals. Truss me, those girls will come around. Don't think so, read the "Reality" section in the previous post.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Point #1 - Guys

“Man, there are no hot chicks in (insert location)!” – Today’s average male

There are some males out there that are currently living in a fantasy world. Their fantasy world is comprised of themselves and bunch of other folks who are blessed to be breathing the same air as the individual. In my short time on this earth, I have met and/or hung out with dudes who believe they are entitled the best, especially when it comes to dating. NEWS FLASH, you are entitled to nothing. I have some classic examples of situations where I felt these individuals needed a reality check.

I used to take the bus to work back in the day. One day, I remember riding home on the bus with one of my co-workers. He was vocal about his perceived notion that our company had no decent looking women. He was going on and on about him and his buddies’ comments about so-called “ugly chicks” until I could not take it anymore. I asked him what the females think about him and his buddies. He paused for a moment, then responded that these females probably think the guys are just as ugly as the guys think the girls are. The purpose of my questions was to have my co-worker really think about what he was saying, especially since he was balding early at a young age. He needed to take a look in the mirror before making comments about ANY female, regardless of our company.

Another scenario where I have encountered this type of thought was during graduate school. Many of the males routinely criticized the lack of eye candy in class. Their comments were often and on a consistent basis. Let me get this right, you are balding, overweight male with chronic bad breath and you have the audacity to demand better looking females in class. I think before you start making bold statement about girls, you need to get your self together first. My thing, I know for a fact if there were indeed “hot chicks” in our class, these guys would have kept quiet anyway and not did a thing. Plus it’s graduate school people…at this stage in our life, we should not be motivated by the opposite sex to stay interested in class.

Point #2 - Gals

I'm an equal opportunist so I believe the same speech is needed for my females out there. Some of you are living in a fantasy world right now. You believe that you are entitled to a good man, who has a good job, who lives a good life, and will you treat you good forever. For starters, you ain't entitled to shit. A good man worked hard to get to where he is so what you makes you any different. There is no way a good man will share his hard-earned wealth with a gold digger who cannot take care of herself.

FACT #1 - There are more women on earth than men. Knowing those odds, I am willing to take a chance on a woman because I know if she says no, her friend will say yes. Why do I know this? Because it's math stupid and I cannot lose. So while are you are thumbing down your nose at me thinking I am not worthy of your treasure, know that your friend is getting hers and you could have been in that position. Women need to understand the law of probability.

FACT #2 - You cannot have your cake and eat it too. Some women love to pump that Destiny Child's Independent women bullshit but trust at the end of the night they are dependent on the man for some things. You don't believe me then think about this, when a man and a woman go out on a date who is expected to pay? And if the man decides not to pay, do you think the woman will go out with him again? But I guess the rules are different for dating, huh? That sounds like bullshit to me. Guys, here's some advice. The next time a woman starts talking that "Are you gonna buy me a drink" or "Are you gonna pay for my dinner" foolishness, just start singing "The shoes on your feet, you bought 'em, the clothes you're wearing, you bought 'em, because I depend on me". Singing this song reminds them what they told you in the beginning. They are independent women.

Today's Lesson

The lesson here is that people have flaws and tend to talk out the side of their mouth when it comes to the opposite sex. Take my advice, know your limitations and lower your expectations. Trust me, if you want high quality men or women, you better be making high quality money or hope that the other person is blind.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


Point #1 - Fat Free

Many times I see people buy fat free cookies, fat free ice cream, anything-you-know-you-should-not-be-eating that is fat free. I am here to set the record straight people. There is no such thing as fat free. If you want to know what fat free cookies taste like, remove cookies out of the equation. Then you truly will have something that is fat free. I'm sorry people but if I see another person debating between which fat free ice cream sandwich package has the most calories, I am going to walk up behind that person and slap the packages out of his/her hands. Then I am going to take them over to the vegetable section and tell them to eat some celery or carrot sticks. That along with the 2 Ws (water and walking) will help you lose that weight. Not this bullshit about eating fat free stuff.

The other thing that drives me absolutely up the wall is when I go to places that serve greasy food. How in the hell are you gonna order a value meal, super size it, and then ask for a diet drink? That is just bad logic to me and I will never understand it. Again, remove greasy food from the equation and just walk. Eat some salad, drink some water, run a few laps and call it a day. McDonald's can't say save you man.

Point #2 - Fat Kids

People, there's an epidemic that's sweeping the nation right now and it's bigger than cancer, AIDS, or any of the other so-called big diseases out there. That's right, I'm talking about fat kids. I don't know when it started or how it happened but America has a LARGE amount of kids that are fat and out of shape. I saw a little boy the other day wheezing and bending over from just walking to mailbox from his house. That's barely 20 feet!! What the hell, am I being overly mean or hard on these kids? History says hell no.

The problem is most of these kids are lazy. Back in the day, I remember my mother, father, grandmother, etc would force us to go outside and play all day until it got dark. Now parents are letting play station and Xbox run these kids' lives. They come from school and immediately go to playing video games. All that sitting and they are not burning off any of the energy. Do me a favor, unplug the system, hide it, and tell your kid that if he/she doesn't lose 20 pounds in 20 days, then the system is going to the pawn shop. I guarantee those kids will be moving around more.

Today's Lesson

Some feeding your fat face and walk. Damn, it aint that difficult. And I don't want to hear those excuses about it's harder for you to lose weight because of some family gene. That's just an excuse for you don't want to get your lazy ass out the bed and do something about your life. But if you are content with your shape, then don't get sensitive when people crack on you.

A Formal Introduction

My name is The Great Waldini. I’m nobody famous, no one you probably know from back home, back in the day, etc. I’m just plain old Waldini. I’m a thirty something young man with views that I want to share with the rest of the world. Some may view my commentary as harsh but I’ve never been a person to mince words. What I am saying is from my head and my heart. If you are offended in any way by any of my words, I am probably talking about you. How does that old saying go “The truth shall set you free?” Well boys and girls, strap on your seatbelt, and get comfortable because we are going on a long journey.

If you're interested in reading some of my previous work, check The Commission. I'm a regular contributor to the site with my 2 compadres, Gangsta D and Da Realist. Other than that, get ready for a regular dose of yours truly, whenever I feel like it :-)