Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Cookie Monster

"C is for cookies and that's good enough for MEEEE....." - Cookie Monster

The Honest Man loves cookies. I like to take fresh dough, mix in my favorite ingredients, put them in the oven, and watch the goodness that unfolds. Sometimes though I bake my cookies a lil too long, burning a few in the process, and unfortunately have to throw them away. But the ones that stay fresh, I stash those in my cookie jar so I can eat them over and over. I'm selfish about my cookies though and I don't like anyone putting their hands in my cookie jar.

Before the Honest Man became a Married man, I also loved women. And I always compared my dating experiences to baking cookies. Meeting a woman for the first time is fresh dough, the favorite ingredients is Honest talk, putting them in oven is going on the date, and I liked to watch the goodness unfold ;-). But like cookies, sometimes you can get "burned" by a woman because you "cooked" (dated) them too long, and unfortunately you have to "throw" (drop) them away. But the ones that stay "fresh" (stay in good standing), I stash those in my "cookie jar" (the Honest Man's rotation) so I can "eat" (keep dating) over and over again. But like my cookies, I'm selfish about my women and I don't like dudes putting their hands in my cookie jar. You wit me so far ;-)

No dude should ever put his hand in his homeboy's cookie jar. Let me repeat that. NO DUDE should EVER put his hand in his boy's cookie jar. I'm cut from the old school cloth where dudes don't date an ex. I'm not talking that bullshit where your boy had a crush on some chick but never took a swing at the plate because he was too shy or too corny on some ice cream and puppies foolishness. I'm talking that your boy either dated the girl for a good minute or got them drawas. It's that simple....

I hear you saying oh yea how would you know Honest Man, have you ever been tested? Actually jabroni, if you paid attention to the above sermon you shouldn't even be questioning that but I see you still sleeping. One story that comes to mind is my boy had a chick he was with for a minute that I became friends with. They had been broken up for at least a year and not even on speaking terms. I'm not gon front, shortie was fine but the FIRST thing I thought about was my boy. And I thought about how I would react if he were to do that to an ex of mine. To make matters worse, ole girl was dropping game and hints all day to me, culminating to the following conversation.

GIRL: "Hey what'chu doing right now?"
HM: "Working, likely taking a half day. Prbly will go home and take a nap."
GIRL: "You wanna come take a nap with me?"
HM: (Silence)

The devil is alive always and I constantly feel him breathing. But I thought with the right head in this case and told her no, I don't get down like that. I explained to her that her ex is my boy and that game recognize game. She at least understood but since she knew she I didn't want her cookies, the game changed completely and ultimately so the communication ceased.

The Honest Man can't roll like that. I work too hard in baking my cookies to watch you wait until all the hard work is done and you come in like a thief in the night to take what's wrongfully yours. Go bake your own cot damn cookies!!

Today's Lesson

Don't be that dude. I mean if you say my friend and do something as dirty as trying to get in my cookie jar, why in the world would I ever trust you to do something else for me? You get it, you got it, you know it's good, the blogs I write, you wish you could :-).

Monday, September 21, 2009

Halle Berry

"With that Big Willie talk, ya playing ya self" - Jeru the Damaja

There's something happening in young black America people. And that something isn't a positive. The Honest Man calls it the "Ya Feelin' ya Self" syndrome or YFYS. YFYS happens when a man or woman sees another man or woman of the same color in a particular setting but for whatever reason has it in his or her mind that other person is jockin' them. It creates an uneasy and unnecessary tension because one person may be trying to just be friendly but the other one is thinking he or she wants me. Let the Honest Man explain further.

One day my wife and I took my son to the doctor for his normal checkup. When the appointment ended, my wife was paying the front desk and I took my son downstairs to wait for my wife. As we're waiting, a sista gets off the elevator. She sees me looking at her, immediately stares down at her shoes, walks by, and is obviously ignoring me. Keep in mind, I'm sitting there on the bench, with my wedding ring clearly showing AND I'm sitting there with an infant. What am I going to holla at you about? "You wanna help me change these diapers you sweet sexy thing..." Sounds stupid doesn't it. Just as stupid as you thinking I'm trying to holla....

I told my wife the above story and she got a chuckle out of it. She tried to rationalize, asking me to look at it from the girl's perspective, and think about how many other times that some bruh did hit on her. A valid point, agree with her, but I'm also thinking if I lived my life always thinking the negative, then I'd never would make it through the day. My first thought at elevator chick was "Tric you ain't Halle Berry, stop feelin' ya self." My second thought was damn I wonder how many other folks think like ole girl....

Look I'm not saying there aren't dudes in my situation that probably were thinking about some corny mack line to kick it to ole girl. But you can't label everybody the same. If that were the case, based on my history with black females back in the day, then I would have abandoned them for a snow bunny or a butter pecan rican. Again see how stupid that sounds :-)

Today's Lesson

Seriously young black people, stop feelin' yo self. Not everybody wants you like that. Truth be told, real g's don't even think like that, only insecure folks. Truss me, the Honest Man was single many moons ago, my pimp game was tight (fact not fiction), and even with the NBA squad I was fielding, I didn't every chick wanted me to be their coach (MESSAGE). Whatever happened to just being friendly? CHUUUCHHH!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Health Care Party

Did you ever see the movie "House Party" ? I was thinking about that one scene where Play is cleaning up the house, getting it ready for the evening. He's looking at his mama's China collection and says "Ya'll not about to mess up my mama's good China, let 'em fuck with this plastic shit!" Those words are a great metaphor for the supposed health care crisis we are facing right now. Just replace "ya'll" with the low income people, China with private sector hospitals, and plastic shit with public hospitals aka county. Follow me puhlease :-).....

President Obama has been taking a lot of flak for his health care reform plan. And the some of the public outcry has been ugly. Like Senator Joe Wilson interrupting him on public television to scream "you lie" ugly (and if you're wondering that's NEVER happened in the history of American presidents). Opposers say the plan will cripple the economy. Opposers say taxes will increase. What opposers aren't really saying nor admitting is that the barrier between receiving good health care and bad health care will be cracked a lil more open.

The Honest Man is gonna keep it real 100% on this. This is about rich folks and poor folks. Rich folks get that "good China" aka good health care right now because they can afford the premium that comes along with it. It doesn't matter if you a small scratch on your elbow or need a bone marrow transplant, you can get the proper medical attention because that's what you are paying for. Poor folks on the other hand are not so privileged. They are normally stuck messing with that "plastic shit" aka your favorite county hospital where the medical attention is well, um, on a first come, first served basis. So if you got that small scratch on your elbow and you checked into the hospital first, then sorry bone marrow transplant, you're behind in line until Dr Deat er I mean Johnson is done with tidying up that nasty scratch.

The second issue is that the President's plan will essentially force rich folks to pay for poor folks by him putting more taxes on the rich. So look at it from a rich person's perspective. Not only do I have to pay for these poor people to get better care, I also have to let them sit in the same hospital lobby with me to get the same proper care. Shit, President Obama you must have been sitting too long in the foxhole with your terrorist friends. Sounds silly doesn't it but this is what some of our fellow Americans believe.

I always say until you actually go through it and experience the same pain as others, then you don't completely understand where that person came from or is going through. Frankly, I'm more amazed that the people who are well off don't understand you could potentially save another person's life. Considering some of them are fakin' and frontin' when they write those big donation checks to make it look like they are a good humanitarian but really are just looking at the nice tax write off they get, they should feel obligated to pay.

But I live in America, and while we are indeed the closest thing to a democratic state, we still believe in an informal caste system. It's why the above is happening now. It's why you see liquor stores and strip clubs in lower income areas and health nut stores in affluent areas (think about it ;-). So what do we do about it? I say you continue to support it and try to diffuse the naysayers with logical thinking instead of irrational thought. I'm just saying.....

Today's Lesson

This message was inspired by my good friend the Rev Doctor Page, who probably has been wondering with the Honest Man was going to speak on this. Well look no more Dr, I'm talking....CHUUCH

Friday, September 18, 2009

Where I'm from

"Oh no I could never visit South Carolina..." - My barber to me after I told him I was from South Cack.

The Honest Man is from South Carolina. West Columbia, South Carolina to be exact. I wasn't born there but I might as well have been because I spent the majority of my life there. The state is known for a few things: the Clemson Tigers-SC Gamecocks rivalry, Growing peaches, beautiful places to golf, and having the confederate flag fly over the state house. But recently, it's become "famous" for two reasons: Gov. Mark Sanford's affair and Sen. Joe Wilson's disrespect of President Obama. Those events have prompted a few folks to ask me if I was embarrassed, shamed, or something to that effect. And it had me thinking about other times in the past when people would start clowning or telling me "Oh I would never live in South Carolina"

I honestly don't get that comment about "Oh I would never live in South Carolina." Particularly when it comes from folks that live in other Southern states. For example, my wife, who's from Texas said after her first trip to SC that she couldn't live here. Too racist she said. How can you grow up in a state with the confederate flag she asked. I'm like compared to what? Oh you mean to a state that's had it own share of problems (see James Byrd ). Oh it gets better folks...

When I first met my barber we were talking about where we were from. I let him know I was from South Cack and he was like oh naw playa, can't live there. Too country, too racist. I'm like where you from. This fool goes Memphis. The same Memphis where Martin Luther King was shot. The same Memphis that's produced well spoken people like Eightball & MJG, Three 6 Mafia, and Young Buck. But my state is country and racist. Riiight....

I say all this for one reason. We all got issues. I don't care if you grew up in Idaho or Illinois, everybody comes from a state with a few skeletons in their closet. Ours just so happen to be on public display at the wrong time. Yea I'm not down with the confederate flag either but it's not like it bothered me to the point like "If I see the muthaphuckin flag one mo' cot damn time, I'm Audi 5000." No, I just ignored it, focused on bettering myself and taking care of bizness. Maybe you should do the same ;-).

Today's Lesson

Don't act like it's just me :-). Yea my state's got some issues but who doesn't. As my boy Gangsta D said "Get your weight up, not your hate up..." Now let's shake hands and go get some bo berry biscuits....

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Songs in the Key of the Honest Man's Life - Black Star Edition

Ahh yes, Black Star people. If you ain't up on this, you ain't Hip Hop. PERIOD. When this album dropped in '99, it was so slept on. Mos Def was more known for commercials than rapping and Kweli was very very very underground. But the album opened doors. Shit was just banging.

One of my faves off this album is Respiration. I don't know why but every time I watch this video, it makes me think of my boys, K-dawg and Gangsta D, and the good times we had in and post college. We really did it up. This video always takes me back to those times. Maybe I need to share those great times....MESSAGE :-).

Black Star f Common - Respiration

Monday, September 14, 2009

In need of a hug

I don't know if it was due to Blueprint 3 dropping on Friday or what but some of our people are in need of a hug. Here's what happened over the course of 3 days...

Friday - His Airness' HOF induction speech. If you missed it, man I'm talking SERIOUS backhanded compliments. From the callout of "the little guy" (Jeff Van Gundy) to flying in the dude that he was passed over for in high school, Jordan spared very few.

Saturday - Mz Fat Booty aka Serena Williams having a public meltdown....during the US Open semis. First it started with the racket throwing during the 1st set. Then it got ugly, real ugly, during the 2nd set when she got into it with the line judge

Sunday - Kanye's outburst at the MTV Awards. He ran up on stage during someone else's award presentation to say that Beyonce's Single Ladies should have won, then dashed off the stage. What's wrong with just blogging that??

Honorable mention - for Lil Mama almost ruining a classic live performance by Jay Z and Alicia Keys (Empire State of Mind) by running up on stage. B list talent trying to act like you A list. It would be like Soulja Boy running onstage during a Michael Jackson/Janet Jackson performance to show off his dance. I'm just saying....

Today's Lesson

Give these folks a hug peeps, they need it....The Honest Man is wondering who's next :-). But regardless, he's here to give them hugs too LOL.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Songs in the Key of the Honest Man's Life - Militant Edition

Back in high school, some of the white kids called me militant. That's because they would say things like "You don't talk black" and I would reply "What's talkin' black?". And I would always get on my philosophical soapbox about there's no such thing as that, stop watching BET as your source for Black people, yada yada yada. I didn't make matters easier by rocking my Public Enemy "It takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us back" sweatshirt at soccer practice, complete with red Umbro shorts and socks to support the movement :-).

Which brings me to today's choice. Public Enemy. Fight the Power. I don't know what got me more crunk from 1989-93 than the kickoff lyric of "NINETEEEN EIGHTY NINE/A number/Another summer (get down)/Sounds of the funky drummer" That was my shit back in the day. I'm talking that I'm wrong person to fuck wit today type motivation. Tests, sporting events, dates, it didn't matter, I listened to this. And with that, I share my motivation for today.

Public Enemy - Fight The Power

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Que Pasa!!

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges" - Mexican Bandit in Blazing Saddles

I don't know what makes them love it, I don't know why they crave it, and I don't give a shit about either but it's got to stop white people. And I'm talking about you always wanting to get Mexican food. It doesn't matter if it's Spring Bling, hot fun in the Summer, cold as balls winter, but you always asking me about going to get Mexican food. And the Honest Man is sick of it...

For starters, it's not authentic Mexican food. It's friggin' Tex Mex or some other knockoff of it. You honestly think Mexicans are eating fajitas, rice with peas, and refried beans every day. Oh hell no. Think about this, how many Mexicans do you see eating in On the Border, Don Pablo's, El Chico or some other bullshit wanna be Mexican restaurant. And I mean as a patron not the ones in the back cleaning dishes that get the stuff discounted. Hmm, makes you wonder doesn't it.

Second, why are you persistent in me going to places that serve only margaritas and Mexican named beers like Dos Equis and Corona? Can a brotha get a white russian in a clean glass. It's like they look at the calendar, see it's Friday, and automatically assume it's margarita night. So you end up picking the margarita spot...except you do it every Friday. I like my margaritas from time to time (I see you El Patio and Cabo's in Houston) but damn not every fucking Friday.

Lastly, from now on, if you start talking about going to Mexico, I'm going to start asking you if you are from Mexico. Maybe that will offend you but my goal is get you to stop talking about going to get Mexican food. Can we get some options? Asian, French, Caribbean, Soul, etc all are decent choices. But stop this silly shit about "craving enchiladas and burritos."

Today's Lesson

You're not from Mexico and neither am I. How would you feel if I were in your face every day about going to Sylvia's to eat. Uh huh, you would get sick of it. Class dismissed.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Daily Thoughts

I have a friend from college that works at the same company as me. One day she im'ed me and told me she was on a conference call and one of our co-workers asked her about how her family was doing. What's so interesting about that you say? Well for the simple fact that ole boy confused her with my wife and asked my friend how's your husband (the Honest Man) doing. Keep in mind ole boy is of hispanic background and should know better than to loop us all colored folks together like that.

So I relayed to her that next time he says something silly like that, you should say "Here's the 20 dollars I owe you for cutting my lawn last Saturday." Bet'cha he won't forget again ;-)

Today's Lesson

Yep, I know that comeback is fucked up on so many levels but what's more fucked up is you laughing at the comeback. MESSAGE!