Friday, December 17, 2010

I like Big Butts and I cannot lie.....





There's an epidemic sweeping across America people. And honestly it has been happening for quite some time now. I dunno when this marvel occurred or when it started but I damn sure have taken notice. You with me? Still trying to figure out what I'm talkin' bout Willis? It's not science related, not sports related, and definitely not money related. It's human related or to be more specific glutues maximus related. In simpler terms the butt. In Honest Man terms, the booty. As in R. Kelly's genius of a song "Feelin' on yo Booty". And that epidemic I'm talking about is white girls having black girls' asses....Oh yes it's damn true!

Ok, I'm assuming for my sistas reading this, they are probably spending 5-10 minutes on the above paragraph cussing me out, questioning my manhood, and any other related gesture that sparks outrage. Everyone one else is going, I'm with you Honest Man or Really Honest Man? and are ready to keep reading. Before I go into my history lesson, let me say for the record, I always hold the black woman's booty to the utmost of highest respect (Did I reel some of the sistas back in with that line? LOL probably not). But seriously, if you give me a choice of Jennifer Lopez, or Tichina Arnold, I'm going for PAM! Now let's get back to business at hand.

It was high school when I first took notice. It's just one of those things with dudes. We definitely are scoping out a woman's body. Especially one that milk did a body good. And considering I went to high school with a lot of white girls, it was damn near impossible not to peep a snow flake's goodies when it made sense. And I was noticing how a couple of chicks actually were thick and curvaceous in as Ginuwine describes it "Those jeans!" At first I thought I was crazy, like they only look good because I see them all the damn time and just chalked it up to me being delusional...

As I got older, I put that stuff out of my head, especially when I was in A town. Too many non snow flakes around for a lifetime. I barely remembered thinking that white girls had booty during this period since I rarely saw them. It was like the world was normal again. Black chicks had booties for days, and I was like flies on shit trying to get at 'em. So I graduate college with the sky is blue, the earth is round and all is well type logic.

Do you read King Magazine? I read it for the insightful "articles." And in the late 90s, I was reading this great "article" on the chick from "Blossom" aka Six. And when I kept reading that "article" I was like Van Damme this white girl got ass for days. Initially, I felt crazy, like what the hell is wrong with me. I was trying to tell myself that I'm either working too hard or the alcohol has caught up with me. But oddly, a few weeks later, I was hanging with my boys and I'll never forget this. We were having guy talk doing the usual who's the hottest chick on the block type convo, and one of them goes "I'll tell you what. Ya'll remember that chick from Blossom? Have ya'll seen the King magazine with her in it. I'm tellin' ya'll cuzzin that chick got ass for days!" Ding Ding Ding Ding!! That readers is what we call confirmation and validation. It wasn't just me that noticed.

After that it was a domino effect. It literally seemed like I would be somewhere random, look up, just so "happen" to catch the backside of some shorty, she turns around and I'm straight trippin' she's white. Like how is this possible?? The gods have lied to me?? Or for art thou cursed me :-)!! Then the ultimate came when Ice T broke out his wife Coco and I'm like oh hell naw, it's official now. White chicks with black girl booties have arrived. And when Kim Kardashian "blew" up, it was Van Damme, the game is over. Cue the hate from sistas worldwide. I would get into arguments with my homegirls like you wilin or hell no but I counter with you just mad cuz that white girl is stylin' on you LOL. Don't hate, congratulate! I didn't say I was gonna leave the sistas for the kryptonite, I'm just complimenting the lady's bootiful style....

So for the fellas out there strugglin' with this and have been ashamed to admit what they saw, the Honest Man has officially given you the OK to let it out. No reason in keeping that to yourself cuz we all in awe of what's happening across America. I don't know if it's due to working out, due to a change in eating habits or having their genes spliced with an ounce of Serena serum but yo it's something that is certified and approved by the Honest Board of Governors. Let the haters hate cuz I know the playas are playing....literally!

Today's Lesson

I don't want my sistas to view this as an article of me abandoning or promoting other bruhs to abandon you because I'm not. I'm just making you aware of an awesome and inspiring movement that's happening in your world. Trust me, you still the queens of our castles. Just be leery of that duchess bending over.....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. Get over it. A white girl with a booty. Its not a miracle. Im white, (with some native american in me too) small, but have nice curves and a booty. Any girl from any race can have a big butt. It just depends on genetics and stuff. It sickens me how people think white girls cant have curves or a booty. Get over yourself. Its racist. Wow, I actually get to pull the race card this time.
Oh, I forgot, apperentally we cant dance either. Ugh I hate stereotypes. And why would a black girl get mad cause white girls have big butts? Racism anyone? Yep!

Cremated Crankshaft... said...

.......all im going to say is i love white girls with big butts well i like any girl with a big butt, but i tend to like asian, white, and hispanic women more with big booties of coures ^_^... idk there's nothing wrong with black girls its just they have too much aditude and argue and complain a little too much for me X_X im nt saying i want a robot...or am i rejection is murdering people left and right and leaving people thrashing in emotional pain...>_< i know cause im there now...i don't really have a style but my own, and aperantly it is not what the ladies are looking for -SADFACE- i mean i have dated before but there was no love involed they just loved me cause i was a musician and i can play really good but that's not point D:< i want you to love me!!.....whoops sorry got off track again i do that 9_9....i think im going a little crazy because the lack of females in my life >_< ahhhhhhh it burns!!!! any way yeah there is this Navy girl at work and sweet Jesus she is super cute and guess what :3...she's white and got a nice, big, round jucy butt :D...most of the guys be starring at her. one guy was starring so hard he fell down the stairs LOL!! i know cause i was right behind him and almost suffered the same fate but i cought myself >_<...everyone was like wtf!!?? she turned around and giggled at the guy who was lieing on his face and me hanging by one arm from the side rail on the gangway of the ship... XD i think she does stuff like that on purpose too, she bends over alot O_O this made me almost run somebody over with a forklift XP almost got fired......so yeah sometime it can be a huge distraction...

Anonymous said...

PLEASE tell me who this woman is..........Wow

Anonymous said...

Speaking as a black woman with a big butt, big breast and hips. Were not mad when we see a white woman with some junk in her trunk. For so many years the media and society has made the world think curvy women are fat, and you must be a size zero to fit in. For a long time black women could not model. The modeling world said no one wants to see a woman with wide hips, big butt, and double D breast. Now fast forward to 2011-2012 I call it the Kim Kardashian era, every non black woman wants a big butt. The media now glorifies having curves and a big butt as long as a non black woman is doing it. Sir mix a lot pointed this out a long time ago in his video baby got back. He knew what the media said about women with curves. I think the person who written this article did a great job. However, the writer of this article has done the same thing the media is doing glorifying a race of people who society and the media has said to be more superior than any other race. Every cover of a magazine, billboard, ect ect there's always a white person on it. Sometimes it just seems like black women cannot win in any situation, and its our own race that neglects us. Articles like this give commentors like the first above comment a chance to say that black women are racist and now its her turn to pull the race card. Like I said I'm not racist if a white girl has bootie more power to her, but having curves is the norm for black women and not new.

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