Monday, May 11, 2009

Annoying Things I wish dudes would stop doing Pt. 2

You know the Honest Man was wondering when someone was going to annoy him enough again to do another chapter of Annoying Things and bygolly it happened last week. I was around enough people to jar memories of similar things that annoy the shit out of me. And I'm happy to share that with my readers today. Enjoy...and don't become a contestant on my show either. LOL

Point #1 - When a fine female says "You look familiar"

How many times has a person just told you, hey you look kind of familiar or are you from around here? And what is your normal reaction when someone tells you this. For me, I usually shrug it off and go oh ok, make no mind of it. Because I've been enough places and had enough people say that to me in my lifetime that I could be rich off it. But never did I take it as hey I want to jump your bones. But check out this story. Far too many I know fall into this trap.

I was at a conference recently and this fine female told one of my people that he looked familiar to him. He took that as I think ole girl wants to holla at me. Kept talking about the encounter the entire night. What.The.Fuck. Surely, you can't be serious (and don't call me Shirley). So what happens when a dude asks you the same thing? Does that mean he is sweeter than a box of fruity pebbles? Or if it's a ugly chick that looks like Wanda from In Living Color? Does that mean she will rock your world??

I don't understand whenever a dimepiece makes the same statement that the above parties make, the statement is taken in a totally different direction. If that chick wants to holla, truss me she will make it known. Take this from a guy who had chicks at his workplace leaving candy dishes with "call me" notes on my computer keyboard, calling me up late at night to see if I wanted to come over for some "pie", and my favorite, asking me to take a half day on MLK to come take a nap with them. See the difference. Feel the difference. Understand the difference, jabroni.

Point #2 - When a fine female stares at you

Again, another one of those, I don't get. I had a friend who stared at another friend of mine during an engineering banquet. My homegirl turned around to look at him and then my boy starts going, I think she wants to holla at me. Fucking retard, people can feel when someone is looking at them. They damn sure can feel when someone is staring at them for a long stretch. It's awkward and they turn around to have you stop looking at them. There's no mathematical equation for that Einstein. It's called common sense.

Replace fine chick with anyone else and you don't accuse that person of wanting to holla at you. You accuse them of being weird, strange, or likely think they are trying to rob you at gunpoint. But in the fine woman's case, oh she wants to jump your bones. And because she stared at you. Unless that chick is lip synching "come get this coochie now", it's likely she doesn't want you. What she does want is your stupid ass to stop staring at her before she alerts the proper authorities for you being kinda creepy.

Today's Lesson

Stop feeling your self chief, it's not you. Females can be lots of things but the above is not one of them. If they feeling you, trust me, you will know. It won't be some silly bullshit line like the above to see if you interested. Now stop running up on people with all that wack shit about all these girls wanna get down with you.

1 comment:

Latiesha said...