Blame it on the al-al-al-al-alcholol Part 2

"She does know that Jesus converted water to wine right?!?!" - Gangsta T

Ok, I've come down from music crack addition to "Blame it" by Jamie Foxx but when I hear the song, I find myself reminiscing over certain incidents where that song title is a perfect match. Today's story isn't about me but about an acquaintance of mine that had her own "Blame It" moment.

1999. Houston. I've been Mister Corporate America for about a year and a half at this point. Back in the day, the Honest Man was out on the social scene. I think I knew of a spot to kick it at every day of the week back then. Anyway one of the spots that was the place to be in the know was Birraporetti's. Not just any Birraporetti's mind you, but the one of West Clay Street. The day to be there was Tuesdays because every Tuesday they served free pizza (from 4-7pm) and had $1 Bellini's. Yep, guess where I had dinner like every other Tuesday. My motto then (hell still is), if it's free then it's for me.

Anyway, my road dog during that time was Gangsta T. He went to Morehouse with me, he trained me in the Jedi ways of drinking and he was like me, just down to something. Since we both worked downtown and the spot was like 10 mins from work, that was our Tuesday post up spot. Now when I first got to Houston, it was hard to get the peeps to do anything. Folks talking that weak shit about getting enough sleep for work, only want to hang on Fridays and Saturdays. Crab ass people, we wuz like fuck 'em, we going to do us and still show up to work on Wednesdays like a G (which we did, truss NOBODY in Houston had anything on us then).

Well after numerous rejections by folks to hang, I don't know if it was the weather, the bonus money, or my fly clothes but all of a sudden, we started to get crowds to roll with us to the spot. I should point out that even before we had people roll with us, Birraporetti's was THE place to be on Tuesdays. All the corporate Negroes were in the building and usually you could find yourself on the right end of the conversation with someone you wanted to holla at. Anyway, I digress, that's not the point of this story...

Like I was saying, we finally got people to start rolling with us on Tuesdays. One co-worker in particular decided she wanted to hang with us and see what the fuss was about. She was roughly the same age as us (just 1 yr older than T, 2 than me) and was from the Southeast too. The big difference was that she was heavily into church. This would factor greatly in what I'm about to say next.

So we get there, the 3 of us get our table, decide to take advantage of the pizza before the hungry hippos ambush and leave nothing but crumbs. While we eating, we just talking about everything from living in Houston compared to our homes, working for our company, etc. After about an hr, you know us Jedi Knights are starting to twitch because our throats are parched. She asked us what were going to drink and we gave her the huh look like are you serious. We roll with those $1 Bellinis pimpn. Anyway, we ordered one round, T paid, and we were cool. We chatted some more, then order another round, which old girl paid for.

I don't know what happened between that first round and second round because all of a sudden, she started tripping after she downed her drink. Out of nowhere started spurting she committed a sin or something and had to go to Church asap to repent. She literally got up seconds later and left. Gangsta T looked at me, I looked at him, we both went "What the fuck?", proceeded to order more drinks, laughing our asses off like tell me this isn't really happening :-)

The next day, I stopped by her office to ask what happened and she mentioned that the devil's nectar had gotten to her and she had to stop before she did something she didn't want to do. I was like oooookkkaaay. T said it best. "She does know that Jesus turned water to wine right?!?!?". Blame it on the al-al-al-al-alcohol indeed.

Today's Lesson

I guess she had to blame it on the bellini that got her going dizzy because she RAN out of that spot. At least she didn't come at us with bible verses and/or call us sinners. But I was leery of asking her to roll with us to future happy hours LOL.