Monday, April 27, 2009

The Honest Man Reviews GI Joe

The Honest Man grew up during the Golden Era of cartoons aka the 80s. That's when shows like Transformers, He-Man, Voltron, Jason and the Wheeled Warriors ruled my life. They were so dope that many of them are either making millions right now as a live action franchise or are planning to launch as one. It's sad b/c I look at my kids' cartoons and go this is some old bullshit. They are rehashing series (SpiderMan, Ninja Turtles) and selling to kids like it's new. It's like that episode in the Wire where Stringer decided to change the caps on the product from blue to red to increase sells. He didn't change the product mind you, just gave mofos the perception he did. That's what the braintrust at these cartoons are doing to my kids. Fuckers....I digress

One of my favorites was GI Joe. Yea, it didn't matter that supposed battles between America's Team and Cobra yielded no bloodshed and no fatalities in any episodes. It didn't matter that promoted racial profiling to the fullest (Hello Quick Kick). The show was pure unadulterated hot shat. My boy, the good Rev Dr, recently hipped me to Cartoon Network relaunching the show. It's been rebranded as GI Joe:Resolute and will join their mature audience cartoon lineup via Adult Swim. Attached is the link for the 5 min online episodes.

Adult Swim Link

The Honest Man peeped the movie over the weekend and was like damn the writers were like this isn't your 8 yr old Honest Man's GI Joe, this is the grown Honest Man's GI JOE. Major Bludd lying in a pool of his own blood in the first 2 mins? Bazooka coming up dead with a cigarette in his mouth (where the hell was Mutt???)?? Zartan catching a bad one from Duke?? BIG BIG Ups from me

I was hoping they bring back those 2 minute segments they used to do at the end of the cartoons where the kids are doing something stupid like cooking while they mama isn't home and end up burning down the house. But in the grown Honest Man's GI Joe, those kids are cooking crack in the back, then Roadblock busts in like "Yo What the Fuck are you bitches doing!??!" and the kids get scared like "Oh shit it's Roadblock"....

Today's Lesson

The Honest Man STRONGLY endorses this cartoon. You better watch or I'mma send Snake Eyes to your house like he was sent to Storm Shadow's house and cut you up like he cut those fools up like swiss cheese.

1 comment:

PrimeTyme said...

I'll always love the '80s version, but this version was off the charts. Bullets really do kill :)