Cold as Ice

"Sleep is for losers" - P. Diddy

It was in the wee hours of a Sat morning after a Friday night full of debauchery. Me and my crew have made the normal party rounds in Houston but need some food to counter the firewater in our system. So we go where everybody (and dey mama) knows your name....IHOP. As is the case with most IHOPs in major cities, this one is packed like sardines at 3amish. If you know about IHOP and after hours, you know it is always like a club within a club.

So we there, kicking it, talking shit with other folks, and notice our waitress is working mad crazy. So crazy that she is slow with everything we order. Water. 15 minutes. Food. 30 minutes. Extra napkins. She forgot that. Yeah, she was struggling. Normally I let stuff slide since 1) it is late and 2) she did have extra tables to serve. But this waitress was part of the wine and cheese club.

Ok, we have finished our meal, sitting there chilling, and I ask her for more water. Again took her like forever to bring that water back. She's starts talking about she's sorry and how tired she is, she's working double shifts, and blah blah blah. She goes away, and comes back complaining some more about her working.

Like I said earlier, I had firewater in me and I felt inspired. Inspired to spread reality in the hearts of little waiters and waitresses across America. So I decided to be real with her. I'm like sweetheart, you remember when you walked into IHOP and asked to work here. You remember that they said they are open 24 hours a day. So you understood with accepting this job, you would have to work these crazy hours from time to time. But you got options. The option is to quit this and go to Mickey D's, where they close at midnight. And then you don't have to complain anymore. Otherwise you got to suck this shit up and do it.

She didn't do the obvious response and curse me out but she did give me the evil eye. Still despite my asshole I have a dream speech, I still gave that poor woman a dollar tip for her troubles. And a quarter to call someone that cares ;-).

Today's Lesson

If you don't want a Diddy answer, then don't come at Diddy with the foolishness. Because the Honest Man will always ask do you want some tea for that pity party :-). Handle your business.....