Monday, March 29, 2010

Calvin



"Calvin that used to hang out on the corner?!?!" - Old lady from the McDonald's commercial

Do you remember the McDonald's ads in the early 90s featuring Calvin? You know the one where all the black folks in the neighborhood are pleased as punch that Calvin from around the corner is working at McDonald's. The story starts with him getting the job to by the end of the commercial, Calvin pretty much owns the joint. Classic shit right?

Today, I felt like I was in Bizarro world. And it starred a Bizarro Calvin from around the corner. And it involved a normal McDonald's. But the experience was anything but normal. It was...bizarre. And the only reason I am invoking Calvin's name is because the cashier was young and black. But unlike Calvin, I definitely didn't see him owning no McDonald's anytime soon....

Anyway, the Honest Family took a trip to McDonald's after the kids were scooped from class. We were getting my kids Happy Meals for being extra good at school (and the fact that we let time slip away from us and forgot to cook dinner LOL). We pull up through drive through like normal, order our food, and pull around to pay the cashier at the first window. I should note now the Honest Woman was driving and I was riding shotgun.

So we pull up and we see a young black dude working the register. Again normal right? The first thing that comes out of his mouth is "Aw yea, we get some black folks passing through here for a change." Not hey how you doing or your order comes to this but that line. What the fuck?? So unlike the Calvin who was courteous, we get Bizarro Calvin who's just saying the first thing that comes to mind. But oh no wait, I got more :-).

So after being starstruck that we are black, he takes the money and still going on and on about being happy to see black folk. You think that would be the end of it right? Nope, dude observes the Honest Wife is driving and then comments to me that "Hey man, you oughta be driving the car and letting your lady ride." Again, what the fuck? I'm getting advice on how to treat my woman?? From a McDonald's cashier? So not only does he take orders, he gives relationship advice. Ladies and gentleman, meet Bizarro Calvin! But not Calvin from around the corner, this Calvin comes from the land of Stupid. And yes there is something wrong with that ;-)

Today's Lesson

Maybe this dude watched a lot of "Coming to America" and thinks he's the new age Akeem by giving advice. But um, Calvin, stick to your day job. Take the orders, pick up the trash from time to time, and maybe one day you'll be on fry duty. And that's when the medium bucks will start rollin' in.....

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