Monday, January 25, 2010

Carlton Banks

You think I'm a sellout... Why? Because I live in a big house where I dress a certain way? Or maybe it's because I like Barry Manilow?...Being black isn't what I'm trying to be, it's what I am. I'm running the same race and jumping the same hurdles as you, so why are you tripping me up? You said we need to stick together, but you don't even know what that means. If you ask me, you're the real sellout." - Carlton Banks (played by Alfonso Ribeiro)

The Honest Man just set a record for longest quote of the millennium. But only because it's been a long two weeks. Just a week ago we celebrated Martin Luther King Day. Heading into it, you probably heard two people set the record for saying the dumbest shit of the millennium. I'm referring to Chicago's favorite stepchild, Rod Blagojevich telling Esquire he was blacker than President Obama and Senator Harry Reid mentioning the reasons Obama was a great candidate because of his light skin and lack of "Negro dialect."

The Honest man grew up in the suburbs. Like Carlton Banks, I went to private high school with a bunch of white kids. Unlike Carlton Banks, I wasn't living in a Bel Air mansion. Also didn't have the cool ass cousin to keep me straight as I was a combination of both. Guess you could call me Fresh Banks of Columbia. I digress....Like Carlton Banks and President Obama, I got called out for not speaking so called negro dialect or as the white kids put it "You don't talk black."

The Honest never did, never has, and never will understand that sentence. I think that white people sometimes watch too much TV and believe that all black people march to the beat of the same drum. Like BET is the Bible to our people and keeps them up to date on what we are doing. Newsflash, there's no SUCH thing as talking black. It's called slang. Just because black folks say it doesn't mean it's called talking black. For the record, I tried talking slang in high school, my moms almost went ape shit. You've seen the stories on my mom. Trust, I stuck to the script under her jurisdiction.

Carlton's quote said it best. Being black is what I am. Being black is what Obama is. Being black is what others who feel the same are. Listening to rap music and saying rest in peace B.I.G. to sound cool is not being black. Running up on me in the parking lot to tell me you got Snoop's album before me, then telling me you're blacker than me because of that is not being black. And if you are reading this and are confused, then you are either ignorant, or don't give a shit about what I'm saying.

Being black is understanding the history of our race, from the moment our ancestors were brough here against our will to the moment that Dr. King gave the historical speech. Being black is understanding your cultural values. Being black is understanding that no matter the racist ignorance you come across, you still manage to rise above it. Being black is truly understanding the significance of Barack Obama becoming president and not having it undermined by stupid comments like his skin color and verbiage playing a role in that.

I saw all this to say that until you walk a mile in a black person's shoe, stop talking about something you have no clue about. Talk to me when you understand why a bruh gets a haircut every two-three weeks. Talk to me when you get pulled over across the street from your own high school and accused of being drunk but in reality you just getting profiled. Talk to me when you surrounded by a bunch of folks who are not your skin color and they only way they think you'll feel comfortable is talking about sports. And definitely talk to me when you understand how impactful the Cosby Show, Different World, AND Martin were to the black community :-).

Today's Lesson

The Honest Man just had to get that off his chest. Tired of ignant muthafuckas talking that retarded shit yo about me not being black enough for them. That slang black enough for you tric? Poof pow BEGONE!

And for the record, the Honest Man didn't rock a wardrobe like Carlton! Poof.....

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