Rosa Parks

"Ah ha hus that fuss 

Everybody move to the back of the bus

Do you wanna bump and slump with us 

We the type of people make the club get crunk" - Outkast, Rosa Parks

Rosa Parks. Pioneer. Trailblazer. Symbol of the Civil Rights movement. Made it possible for black folks to ride the bus. Even got a song call out from my folk ‘Kast (even if she didn’t really appreciate it). And you probably thinking I’m bringing her up because it’s Black History Month and I want to shower you with memories of how the Honest Man as a youngsta stood up to white folks in his own lil world. WRONG readers, the Honest Man has a different take on the effects of Rosa Parks effect.

I think Rosa got white people scared after the bus incident. To the point that they overcompensate now for trying to be conscious whenever they realize they are sitting next to a black person. Let the Honest Man give you an example. I was on a flight recently where it was unusual that we had a bunch of open seats on the plane. I mean I’m on a 3 seater row and I’m the only one on it. Perfect. My own private first class row. The Honest Man can stretch out across like I’m on a couch, sit back, read King Magazine, eat some cashews, catch some zzzs, you know do grown man shit without folks in my business. In front of me is a completely empty 3 seater. Let me repeat, COMPLETELY empty. I stress this for the actions that happen next.

I’m half sleep when I see a cat come up and take the aisle seat on my row. Cue the Honest Man putting up his King mag and switching to Forbes (gotta maintain that image readers LOL). Dude didn’t see me when he was originally scoping out where he wanted to sit. But once he saw I was black, he had this awkward look on his face like if he got up and left, I would think he was racist and didn’t want to be near black people. Au contraire mon frair , what I was thinking was why in the hell would you want to share a row with someone, when you could take the completely row of in front of you for yourself. Please you not offending me if you want to take a different seat. But you are offending me when you put an end to my mini paradise. Now we got to share the row and shit, making dumb ass small talk, when all I wanna do is enjoy the moment of silence.

You can obviously infer from my comments that the dude was white. White folks, here is a message from the Honest Man. You are NOT offending us if you do not like your original seat. Stop thinking I’m gonna go into a nearby phone booth and turn into Angry Black Man, the hero who rocks the Malcolm X glasses and goes off on white people about tired of being oppressed and held down by the white man. Start thinking with common sense and asking yourself I wonder if he wants someone sitting next to him. Take a look around genius. Everyone’s got their own row, why can’t I have mine? Shit you get your own too. We all win, shoot’s it’s equal rights in my mind.

I don’t know how many times I’ve come across the above scenario on airplanes, buses, conversations, etc. Trust me, I’m not offended if you don’t wanna sit next to me. I’m annoyed though if I have to give up the thought of having a empty seat next to myself for an extended trip.

Today’s Lesson

Martin Luther King’s not walking through that door. Huey P Newton’s not walking through that door. Jesse Jackson’s not walking through that door. But dammit if you keep up this shit, I’ll be walking through your door with a common sense bat to smack some fucking sense into you. History class is dismissed. Professor HM has spoken.