Saturday, February 27, 2010

Siegfried and Roy

"That tiger didn't go crazy. That tiger went tiger!" - Chris Rock

The Honest Man is NOT an animal lover. While I loves me some Charlie Brown & Snoopy, the closest I will ever get to owning a dog is the one I see on Animal Planet. Which brings me to today's post. By now, you have heard about the killer whale that killed her trainer. The reasons have ranged from maybe the trainer was too close to whale and that triggered something to the whale having a temporary relapse and snapping. Seriously? Is this what the whale said? Or is this what the psychologist determined after cross examining the whale? I wonder if the thought occurred that's it's a KILLER WHALE!!!

I don't understand man's fascination with trying to tame wild animals. There is no 100% guarantee that the animal will not turn on its' master. Animal lovers will come at me with the "but more times than naught" line, citing that 99% of the time, if you train them, they will follow. That's bullshit because there's the 1% that says Scruffy is going to bite your hand. I'm a 100% man. If you can't guarantee that animal isn't gonna turn on me, then don't bother bringing that wild animal into my kingdom.

If you need more proof, think about these past attacks. The Siegfried & Roy incident. The Crocodile Hunter. That dumbass in Harlem. Either they were training animals or trying to get close to animals. In all cases, the animals are wild. And yet these incidents don't set off the imaginary light bulb above the animal lovers head that says "Hey maybe I should rethink that whole strategy of trying to tame Bubbles."

And for my non-White readers that are going to play the race card and say these are stupid things that White people do, then you need to check yourself. The Harlem incident was a black dude. It's not a race thing people, it's a stupid people thing. Stupid people trying to domesticate animals that are known for chasing gazelles down or swallowing seals whole. I mean if a domesticated animal like a dog will bite your hand or a cat might scratch you with his claws, what makes you think that a killer whale would not smack you upside the head with her fin?

Today's Lesson

If you want wild animals, then turn on Animal Planet. Kinda how we say to ugly cats that try to get with dime pieces, you want to stay in your lane. Otherwise, as my man Chris Rock said I won't be saying the Killer Whale went crazy, I'll be saying naw, the Whale went Whale!

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