Monday, September 20, 2010

Observe and Report

"A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts" - St. Jerome

Do you ever watch Biggest Loser? Or Celebrity Fit Camp? Or Thintervention? These are shows about fat folks trying to lose weight. Yep no politically correct shit like "These shows focus on people with special needs who have a desire to emotionally separate themselves from a burning desire." I call it like I see it. Fat folks who want to lose weight. And the Honest Man is all for that, in fact I'm 100% behind them. Better to acknowledge the problem and repair it I say. But sometimes, I find humor in what I call fat people logic....

Fat people logic is when a fat person has this wacko way of rationalizing how they lose weight and what they eat to contribute to that weight loss. It's an internal thing where they have come up with a system to justify to themselves, it's ok what I am doing when externally, you or anyone else knows that it's wrong. Not following, let me give you an example.

I know this chick that's trying to lose weight. She's on her ps and qs with the constant running, drinking water, etc. We're at a spot one morning where I'm getting some donuts. She tells me that she'll pass because she ran earlier and eating the donut would defeat the purpose of the running. 100% correct and agree with her. I'm going for that moment that's fair...

But this is when fat people logic kicks in. So we go to a burger spot for lunch and she gets a burger with no trouble. Also factor in she ate deep dish pizza (with beer) the night before. So somewhere in between those meals, her internal rationale decided just the donut and nothing else was bad. Are you shitting me? I guess she figured only the donut would hurt the running. Or simply, donut bad, burger good. What the fuck??

Sometimes you gotta channel your inner fatty and know the difference between saying "I want to lose weight" and actually losing weight. It's almost like the classic Yoda saying "Do or Do not, there is not try." Translation fat boy, there's no in between for losing weight. Either you eating right to lose weight or you are eating wrong. But don't use some fucked up warped rationale to say it's okay if I eat that twinkie because I did 15 situps today. Do you hear me man???

Today's Lesson

I hate stupid logic. I love common sense. The former is what drives decisions like the example I mentioned above. The former is what so many have but so few use in their daily life. So it's on the Honest Man to help "guide" you in that decision. Next time you pass on a donut, I'm slapping your hand if you about to put a french fry in ya mouth. MESSAGE!!

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