Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Just (don't) do it!

The Honest Man is married. Scratch that, the Honest Man is HAPPILY married. Been married almost 6 years now, which like an eternity in my generation. Have two kids. Got a decent house. All we're missing is the white picket fence and a beagle named Snoopy to make the Leave it to Beaver life complete.

Magic Johnson. Michael Jordan. Kobe Bryant. Rick Pitino. Tragically Steve McNair. And now Steve Phillips. What's the connection between me being married and these high profile folks you say? We are bound by the fact that we are married (or in some cases were married). The difference is they and other dudes at my level have strayed from the concept of marriage. In legal terms they are married. But in their terms, they are dipping their hands in someone else's cookie jar.

This is the Honest Man's view on marriage. If you want to date multiple women, then don't get married. It's that simple. It's emotionally and financially better to you. I mean I look at it like this, you already gotta take 2 Advil pills to deal with the wife, why increase to the dosage to 4 to deal with the mistress? Personally I'm all about less headaches.

And for those who are reading, have jumpoffs, and are saying well my mistress isn't like that, what makes you think that. Humans are unpredictable creatures. You have NO idea what someone will do when shit hits the fan. Look at Steve Phillips situation. He boned ole girl THREE times and the next thing you show she's posing as his son's high school classmate. What the fuck?!?!?

I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say I don't look at other women. My name isn't Stevie Wonder which means I'm not blind to what is in front of me. But I'm not Deuce Bigalow either so I'm not looking to step to chicks and totally ignore that I'm married. One of my boys says it's easy for me because I'm in those folks mentioned above's position. I counter with one of my boy's Uncle is Billy Cunningham. You know the same Billy Cunningham that was a Hall of Fame coach and player. He coached the Sixers during their early 80s heyday but yet he wasn't out trying to see how many notches he could put on his belt. And I know it was available to him if he wanted it.

Ok, ok, you say so what Honest Man, we all know Billy. All right tricks, got a local one for you. My man was single at one time, built him up some nice paper via his 401K, and met this chick that was a low level employee at the same company. They get married, have a kid, but he decides to step out on her. He gets busted, they go to court, the judge rules in her favor, and all that hard earned money he made BEFORE he got married, she now would get half of that. Did you hear me? She will get HALF of his 401K. Considering they were married a short while (less than 5 yrs) and he had already put in 10 yrs work to the fund, he got fucked with no vaseline. All because he wanted some honey. Are your eyes opened now???

I guess ultimately we can't all be perfect. Maybe for those that need more honey, you should find a wife like Andrei Kirilenko aka AK-47:-).

Today's Lesson

Keep the rocket in your pocket married jabronis! Otherwise don't do the bitch move and say ole girl is crazy for this and that when you the reason she out trippin'. And for those thinking about getting married, learn from these stories, and think real hard about what you want outta that woman before you say I do.

No comments: