Dear Cousin

The Honest Man is going to keep it real with you today. I'm hurting people. This has truly been the most trying year for me in terms of dealing with the losses of loved ones. Starting in November of last year and to date, my wife and I have lost 7 people in our families, with the most recent being my first cousin this past Saturday. I've dealt with death for awhile now but never in this frequent manner. The closest pain I felt to this was losing my uncles ('95 and '96), cousin ('97), and aunt ('98) in consecutive years. But never in the same year. So today's post is an open letter to my cousin, whom I had grown apart from since we were kids. Rest in peace Shalanda, I really do miss you.

Dear Cousin,

I don't know where to start. Where did the time go by? I remember when all 7 seven of us were little and used to meet up in the summertime at Grandma and Granddaddy's house to hang out. Definitely a lot closer at that point than we were as adults but that's what happens I guess when we decided to take different paths as we got older in life. I'm not here to pass judgment on you, or anyone else because truth be told, none of us are perfect, we all constantly have our struggles with the Devil, just albeit some have it harder than others to overcome.

We had our disagreements and unfortunately, all of us let time and bitterness consume us to the point where we frankly were not acting as family members should act. But I wont dwell on that. I dwell on what's important and what I want you to know. I want you to know that no matter what has happened in the past or what's happening today, I always love you. From doing little things (but big in the grand scheme of things) such as reading a poem at Granddaddy's funeral on behalf of us grandchildren to the big things such as you were dealing with a lot in your own house, I'll always love you.

Maybe this is a sign to the remaining 6 of us to get it together, stop the foolishness, and start rebuilding our relationships. I do know that we as a group have lost too many people in the past 3 yrs for us not to get a sign from God that nothing is promised. God decided it was time for you to come home and join Uncle Danny, Aunt Cookie, and Granddaddy with Him. I know I had been trying to reconnect with you guys for a minute and I kick myself even more now for not trying harder.

No tears from me since I'm still shocked you're gone and plus that's not the type of person you are. I'll do my best to honor my part in reaching out more to our family and I hope that you are now at Peace. The next time we talk, it will be in Heaven. Take care Shalanda....

Love,

Your cousin,