Friday, December 12, 2008

Annoying Phrases I wish females would stop saying

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. That's the biggest understatement in history. Forget the obvious physical differences, the thought patterns are on a different level. And sometimes I truly wonder what women are thinking when they hit you with certain statements. I think they purposely say them to get a reaction. Well at least one out of me :-). Without further adieu, a few phrases or statements I could do without:

Phrase #1 - "Would you like to meet my friend? She's a nice person."

The first thing that pops into my brain when a woman says this is What's wrong with your friend? I mean is she suffering from baby daddy's drama, biological clock winding down, a case of the munchies, comparisons to Chewbacca, etc. If she so nice, how come no one has scooped her up?!?! You need to replace the phrase "She's a nice person" with "My girl is fine" to at least perk a dude's interest. Niceness only factors in during the getting to know you phase....

Phrase #2 - "All my friends are fine!"

This kinda goes with the first statement. Women are funny. They truly believe all of the girls in their inner circle are fine and ones outside the circle are just okay. As a dude, I treat a woman's comment about another woman like credit card offers....I trash them. The true way to determine how fine your girl is to leave her alone in a social setting and see how many dudes make a run at her. If she's getting no love, that means your friend is NOT that fine. Just because you think your mutant is fine Professor X doesn't mean the rest of the world does. So please so trying to use your telepathic powers to convince dudes this.

Phrase #3 - "Oh he's TOO nice"

So let me get this right, you want me to date your friend because she's nice but you won't date my friend because he's too nice. RIIIIGHT. So I guess what he needs to do is smack you in the face, say bitches ain't shit, and you'll come a running right? Puhlease, I don't even know what this statement means and I'm sure you don't either. If you meet or hear about a guy that's church going, has a job, doesn't live with his mama or any of that other stuff you desire, then what's the problem. Oh yea, you like me, you want that person to look good too. It's just I wouldn't use "Oh she's too nice." I'm more like "She ain't on my level."

Today's Lesson

You gotta luv it. There is no greater conversation than one between man and woman. It's like we are speaking two different languages even though the conversation is in English. Be real about your girls. If she's looks like Beastman from He-Man, then don't push her on dudes. Cuz we as dudes want the chick in the room that looks like Teela (hell we even take Evil Lyn).

Ladies don't worry, there are phrases by dudes that annoy me too :-).

1 comment:

Tiesha said...

Well now I know why we've been able to be cool all these years. Even though I know you're an asshole we think on similar levels. I do NOT use any of those phrases! :-) BTW if you know of a single available man that goes to church, has a job, and doesn't live with his momma give me the scoop! ROFL!!