Sunday, December 14, 2008

Annoying Things I wish dudes would stop doing

I tried thinking about annoying phrases that dudes say but I couldn't really think of any (shock). However, there are cats out there that do annoy me with some of their mannerisms and actions. And I'm here to set them straight so they can stop the madness

Thing #1 - Buying a woman a drink, expecting something in return, and getting mad when nothing happens

You know the setting. You chillin' at a club, probably holding it down at the bar, and you see a gorgeous female. You think the best way to introduce yourself is buying her a drink, then she will be overcome by your generosity, and poof pow, the digits are yours. Unfortunately this isn't Fantasy Island Tatu, this is reality. And sometimes in reality, it's going to take more than a $4 drink to entice a woman to come talk to you. What's worse is I see dudes get upset, call women "dumb ass hoe or lesbian dyke" and act like they entitled to the phone number. Are you friggin kidding me? You know what fellas, the next time you spend $8 dollars on that Houlihan's meal and she doesn't respond right, just drop her. I mean you did spend a whole $8.....If you really believe this you are indeed a jabroni.

If your game is tight, you don't need to buy drinks to get her to talk to you. Well unless you look like Dennis Rodman but without Dennis Rodman money ;-). And if one female doesn't respond the way you want to buying a drink, then duh try it on another one....

Thing #2 - Hating on another dude for dating a woman you like

This one I really will not understand. You jealous of another dude dating a girl you like but the girl doesn't like you. She likes the dude you are hating on. And nothing's going to change that. Not your $4 drink, your good ass job, etc. Shit just ain't gonna happen. Move on and deal with a chick that does like you Hater...

I remember one time I was dating this chick and a friend of mine was dating her girl. It's important to note we all were friends before any of us started dating. And they were dating before me and this girl. One night we went out as a group, he saw her up on me and I guess in his mind, he decided I wasn't good enough for her. He told another friend of mine that "Waldini don't know what to do with that. I should be in his position." What kind of bitch shit is that?? You got the girl you wanted, what's the problem? If that's the case, you should have chosen the other girl instead of hating because you wanted both chicks. Retarded, I thought females were catty but this incident was on another level.

Thing #3 - Internet Pimping

Technology is a wonderful thing isn't it. Twenty years ago, we had pen, paper, and a phone to communicate our feelings to females. Now in addition to those things we got blackberries and email. I find there are dudes that are using devices and options frequently to holler at females. I'm old school so I believe in the calling you up on the phone (cell phone is acceptable) to spit my game.

I remember at work, a bunch of us went out one night and kicked it. Apparently one of the dudes took a liking to one of the females. After he got her name, he looked up her up on the company address book and shot her an email to let her know he was digging her. Huh? Understand we all worked in the same building and he also had access to her office phone. But he guessed internet pimping would be the right move. WRONG. My homegirl called me to let me know about his "pimping" and further asked what's up with your boy and this email. That wasn't in a positive tone. What was worse, he was telling other cats that he met this dope chick and was making moves.

How do you think this story ended? Well he didn't get those digits and he was cold towards ole girl in the future. But in reality the only person he should have been mad at was himself.

Today's Lesson

Look in the mirror and honestly assess if you do any of the 3 things. If so, then take this advice courtesy of the great Deebo.. "Smoky stop being a bitch!". Or better yet take Vito Corleone's advice "Be a MAAANNN". If you can't roll with this, then please stay away from me. I'm a happy man that only rolls with happy people.

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