Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Shoot 'Em in the Kneecaps - "24" edition

"Let me make this right" - Agent Walker during every episode so far of "24 - Day 7"

Good readers, I know it's been a minute since you last heard from (ok it was only a week but it felt like an eternity). With the recent layoffs all over, I had to work on my own strategy for making sure I'm an asset and not a liability to my current employer. But I'm not here to talk about sad days but rather give you my first "Shoot 'Em in the Kneecaps" edition for 24

The premise is simple. Each season, there are certain characters on 24 that drive me absolutely crazy with their stupid ass decisions. I feel someone, namely the Honest man, should roll up and cap 'em in the kneecaps to teach them a lesson. Don't act like it's just me. You can't tell me you were itchin to shoot Kim in the kneecaps for getting caught in a bear trap. Or President Logan for being weak. Or Wayne Palmer for being completely useless as a president. Without further adieu (drum roll please), your "Shoot 'Em in the Kneecaps" nominees

  • Shoot the President in the kneecaps for not keeping a secret. Dude told you to come ALONE and what do you do. You start telling the world "He's coming, He's coming".
  • Shoot Jack in the kneecaps for trying to make Tony have a conscience. If I'm Tony, I'm telling Jack, you go ahead and turn yourself in but I ain't doing jail time. You not my conscience chief
  • Shoot Shawn in the kneecaps for trying to be hard. 4 episodes you were Mr Sensitive trying to save your wife. 3 episodes ago, you save her, treat her like crap and focus on your jumpoff. Last night, he tries to get hard and call people out
  • Shoot Dubaku in the kneecaps for having the scariest mug and voice this side of Mississippi. I literally sat there and told my wife that man if he were my daddy, he would scare the shit outta me "Waldini drink your milk..." Yes Daddy
  • Shoot Agent Walker in the kneecaps for so many things. Let's just pick bad acting for this go round
  • Shoot that American engineer in the kneecaps for being a wuss. Lesson #1, if someone plays the I'm a kill your family card if you don't do this, you need to respond "Mofo, you might as well kill me now b/c if my family is dead, you gon see what crazy is truly like" But naw this fool lets this man turn him into a martyr
  • Shoot that American bruh for agreeing to Dubaku's plan to use the engineer as a bomb. What American you know is willingly going to sit there and be sacrificed. I would have shot Dubaku and then try to plead for a deal.
  • Shoot the Oval Office in the kneecaps for not using technology properly. If you are using all these fancy gizmos to quickly locate this kindred plant, shouldn't you use the same technology to locate where Agent Gesh and the First Gentleman are. GEEZUS PEOPLE
Aww, I feel good getting that off my chest. All that pent-up anger inside, I needed a catharsis to release that negativity. That felt pretty good :-)

Today's Lesson

We're only one-third into the season and I know there will be at least one more edition of this. I'm wondering if I should do one for "Heroes" because Lord knows they got even more characters that need to be taken back and "relieved"

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