Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Government vs Larry Flynt
This just in, the Porn Industry has joined the trend in asking the government for a bailout. Here's a snippet below:
Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.
The first thought that came to mind was are you fucking serious? I saw the Crippled Crusader's biopic and was convinced he had the right to publish Hustler (I wonder why LOL). But a bailout? To do what, get more boob jobs on shorties so they pose a little more for the camera. How does help a consumer like me? Does that mean I get a 3 for 1 when I purchase DVDs at my neighborhood video store? Or that I get extra pages in that next copy of Penthouse? Or even better, I get a shot at the champ, Ms Jenna Jameson herself? The questions are rhetorical and you know that shit ain't happening.
This industry is the latest in a long line of industries to ask for a bailout (see automobile, newspaper). You see where this is headed right? I'm pretty sure charitable foundations are going to start asking for bailouts because donations aren't coming as fast as they want to. Or maybe the homeless people are going to get together and rally for a bailout because people like me are only giving Shoeless Joe 50 cents instead of a dollar.
Sarcasm aside, I find it hard to take this seriously since these guys themselves said they are not in any real financial danger. Sadly, it's becoming the new trend to declare "I need a bailout" and hope the government swoops in like Superman to save your day. The thing is though, at some point these legal mobsters are going to want their money back (with interest) and in this case, I doubt they will accept sex in the champagne room as a payment.
Larry, Joe switch your game up and come up with new ways to drive revenue. Maybe a they cross their businesses and form "Hustler Gone Wild". Corny name, yes but a chance at making extra moolah. Ch-ching!